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| Вт, Авг 19, 2003 09:22pm Мария - 7562 d back | ↑↓ |
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блин, ну, не усну же, пока не развенчаю пару-тройку пунктов...
"Тебе не нужно бpить ни чего что находится ниже шеи."
хм... не все и не всегда 
"Ты думаешь о сексе 90 % вpемени свободного ото сна."
и поэтому быть мужчиной лучше???
"Ты никогда не пpопустишь возможности занятся любовью только потому что у тебя "нет настpоения"."
так всё-таки заниматься любовью или трахаться?..
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| Вт, Авг 19, 2003 09:34pm [Аноним] - 7562 d back | ↑↓ |
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Reasons Why It's Better to be a Woman
Phone conversations are conversations, not a series of grunts.
Multiple orgasms are virtually always female.
You know stuff about how to make food taste good.
A five day vacation requires a bathing suit, a bottle of suntan oil, and Jean-Luc.
Girls night out.
Men don't think we like sex as much as they do, so they don't suspect us of cheating...
We don't have to stand in front of a urinal and expose our genitals to strangers.
We can pretend to be weak to get out of heavy chores.
Old friends don't give you a problem if you limit yourself to two drinks.
We don't feel compelled to do stupid things to "prove" ourselves.
When clicking through the channels, we don't miss good shows.
If my ass is a factor in a job interview, I've got a juicy lawsuit.
All our orgasms are real...the fake ones are not orgasms.
An empty wallet does not make us invisible to the opposite sex.
We can fart in public and no one ever suspects us.
We don't have to wear ties.
We understand why football is funny.
We can go to the bathroom sitting down. Ahhhh...
Our last name is whatever we want it to be.
We can leave a hotel bed unmade, and the messier we leave it, the better we feel.
When our work is criticised, we don't have to panic.
We can kill your own food, and fix it to taste like food.
The garage is all his.
We get extra credit for the slightest act of oral sex.
We see the humor in Robocop.
Nobody secretly wonders if we're impotent.
We never have to clean the toilet. The houseboy does that.
We can be showered and ready in 10 minutes, but why bother? He'll be late.
Sex means never worrying about our reputation. If we're good, we've got it made.
Wedding plans are our option.
If someone forgets to invite us to something, we can show up anyway.
Our underwear is $7 for a six pack.
Sports figures can be a source of sexual stimulation.
None of our co-workers have the power to make us drink too much.
Our shaving mistakes can be hidden.
We don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass EVERY night...some boys are smooth!
If we're 34 and single we lucked out.
We can write our name in the snow without dropping our pants, we just use a finger.
We have fewer heart attacks because we can cry.
We get a zit, we have makeup.
Beer is just another hair rinse.
We can be president.
We can masturbate neatly.
Sex fixes everything, costs nothing, and is fun for us too!.
You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
We get to have sex 90% of your waking hours if we want it.
We can wear a white shirt to a water park, guaranteed to get several good prospects.
Three tools are more than enough.
We can eat a banana in a hardware store without everyone thinking we're gay.
We can dislike sports and not worry about what people think.
We never get anything caught in our zippers
Pamela Lee doesn't live in our universe.
We tell good dirty jokes when you walk into the room.
We can whip our shirts off on a hot day...good for a date with a sexy cop.
The houseboy will work for sex. Try getting a maid to do that.
We never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
Car mechanics can be seduced into telling us the truth.
We don't give a rat's ass if someone notices our new transmission.
We can have sex for hours without even thinking.
We never have to pay for sex.
We never misconstrue innocuous statements.
We get to jump up and slap men.
We don't have to pretend to be assholes to satisfy our peers.
Nobody thinks a thing of it if we decide not to work.
We can admire Clint Eastwood without wanting to look like him.
We live longer.
We know at least 20 ways to fix chicken.
No "erection in public" problems.
Same work, same pay, less pressure, easier to get laid.
Grey hair and wrinkles make us look wise, they make men look old.
We don't have emergency crotch adjustments.
Wedding Dress, Grandma's heirloom, free. Tux rental $100.
We pay less for car insurance.
With usually one ovum per month, we do our part to curb population growth.
We get to mooch off others' desserts.
Colorblindness is a male problem.
Ditto hemophilia.
People never glance at your crotch when you're talking to them.
We are not the same sex as Rush Limbaugh.
Friends sometimes bring gifts.
Bachelorette parties whomp ass over bachelor parties.
We have a normal and healthy relationship with our mothers.
We can buy condoms and make the shopkeeper imagine us naked.
We needn't pretend we're "just" going out for drinks when we go to a male revue.
If we forget to call a friend, he'll call us.
Someday you'll be a rich widow.
You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase, "Whoops!"
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, it's GUARANTEED we'll become lifelong buddies.
We can pretend to be helpless and no one laughs at us.
The house can be a mess and we can blame our husbands.
We never have to miss a sexual opportunity.
We think the idea of Lorena Bobbit is funny.
If something mechanical doesn't work, we can fix it, or ask to get it fixed without loss of sexual identity.
Women athletes don't need a cup.
We can admit to using sex toys, what man ever confesses to using a "love doll"?
We don't have to remember sports stats to be considered real women.
Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
Our pals can be trusted.
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