Ringing in the new year means being able to hit the restart button. Reboot into a slimmer, more fashionable you with today's deal from Teddie Kossof Salon Spa in Northfield: Pay $99 for two 35-minute lipomassage treatments (including a consultation and lipomassage bodysuit), as well as a Teddie Kossof signature treatment including a scalp massage and blowout with Teddie's trimmer (a $350 value). Turn your soft drive into a hard drive with the lipomassage therapy: hand-held, double-roller technology that firms, sculpts, and tones your trouble spots. Invigorate your scalp to encourage healthy, new hair growth before a stylist trims and shapes those locks to perfection. At 72% off, this deal is a way to look kilo-good in 2012 without taking a mega bite out of your wallet.

Turn your soft drive into a hard drive (C)

I'll bet any money that this stupidity was written by a woman.